Wrizzit
For everything, down to the scribbles.
Hey wrizzit, sorry I've been absent for such an extended period. Life took yet another unexpected and high-magnitude inftion of intense emnotional pain from somebody I ostensibly should've (and did) trust not to knowingly cause me to suffer for any length of timew, much less however long it's gonna takew to fucking"practice radical acceptance" - yank the figurative Bowie knife out of my guts and come to terms with what is most likely the decomposition of the single most meaningful romantic relationship of my life; that's not hyperbole --- between addiction issues, manic-depressive episodes intense enough to trigger psychotic features every single time (better managed now), and like a half dozen psychiatrists being wrong af about whether or not I'm autistic. literally every time I asked them If I had something spectrum-ey, they cheerfuilly dismissed it: Not 'tism bc I could read little bits @ ~2yo (only thing they ever cited to dismiss it). I could've seen the harm that masking 24/7...
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did, or more accurately feeling as if I had to mask to avoid varying forms of child abuse from two mentally ill parents that I had to watch repeatedly get chewedf up and spat out by two decades of grift-obsessed mediocre capitalist in res. healthcare- I saw what happened if you ended up in a group home bc nobody can be bothered to help you navigate life, so I subsidized the insane resource sink that is masking with narcotics. Still rather OD than get institutionalized, saw even the "good" ones
Become a mechanism to exploit the disabled and extract any value from their life and while underpaying staff of varied quality to do just enough they can't legally be charged with neglect, but they weren't fucking engaging with those folks for real most of the time... In case anybody was curious for a little origin story. there's some lore fo ya
I’m sorry you’re going through this. The US isn’t a real country; it’s one giant business and its citizens are its customers. There’s no social contract, no reciprocity, no basic respect. If there’s any flicker of light in that darkness, writing is one way to release some pressure.
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