Wrizzit
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Watching pride and prejudice for the first time (for class, usually this genre isn't my cup of tea... idk eventually I want to see something other than heteronormative white upper class stories?) And... oof Mr. Darcy is so painfully autistic. Being autistic myself I'm just like... yep. That's the issue. You dream of connecting with someone but no matter how hard you try you just can't, and people tend to hate you for it. makes one feel like their flesh is crawling up and down their bones, the bumblebee larvae wish to eat their way out, and maybe they'll make better use of this wasted existence of mine. I keep inofumpding about cellular biology at inopportune times even though I've told myself so stop doing that countless times. Then I get emotional when told to stop. Why am I like this? Of all my qualities I hate that part of myself the most. Why can't I keep my mouth shut.
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