Your Paltry Prose

Your paltry prose is fraught with cons;
You shame the writing paragons!

We starve for meat; you throw us chaffs,
You gag us with your goofs and gaffes!

Your diction is a damned disgrace:
Dangling modifiers in my face!

Comma splices, run-on sprees,
Apostrophe catastrophes,

Passive voice and shifting tones!
The deadly sin of homophones!

Mixed metaphors and typos, too;
In craft, it’s clear you have no clue.

So spare me all your scrawling shite:
I’d rather watch TV tonight.