You're mistaken! I'm not that good. [or am I?]

One thought has always amazed me.

If you are aware of being humble…, are you still humble?

I always do my part of denying praise. But is it necessary? What’s the meaning in denying my strengths when I’m familiar with the effort I put in? Sitting alone leaves me in doubt more than clarity, yet it also invites me to find answers in the silence it provides.

So, I dive into the fluidity of silence to discover real humility. I believe it has always been this way — passing from generation to generation, the ‘act’ of humility has been glorified as ultimate epitome of humanity. We have been conditioned into thinking self-dismissal is humility.

I am not alien to this practice. But what hurts me is not the act itself, praise is rare and when it comes, I don’t even allow myself to enjoy the moment. What a pity.

Or maybe I have gone too far in thought? Trust me, I’m a good person. I try to fit into the society’s narrative of humanity. But seems like my thoughts have other plans today. The uncomfortable needs to be encountered anyways — and I have thrown myself bare in front of it.

Is humility an act of lowering oneself?

Humility is defined as the quality of having a modest view of one’s value or importance. Since when did modesty’s bar fall so low? Or was I delusional all this time, thinking self-respect was modesty?

Society’s view of humility has long been denial of praise, not the regulation of our ego. This is a strange idea, or probably I have practiced it incorrectly. I do it precisely, with a soft chuckle and trace of bitterness in my tongue. Yet deep down, I know that I am capable. I have strengths. I have always been good at my work. This awareness leads me to question my humility.

I have a rather beautiful alternative to this issue, one seldom acknowledged by the masses, yet I still place it before the jury of my journey.

Acceptance.

Why is acceptance not seen as humility? Is it wrong to accept our strengths and move on? Is self-acknowledgment fuel for pride?

Humility was never about denial.

Perhaps, humility is not thinking less of oneself but, thinking of oneself less. It exists in the sun with its eternal shine, in the trees which never ask for return, in the vast long-lived sea.

Humility is the beautiful realization of one’s worthlessness and worthiness at once. Perhaps, it’s about respecting others rather than diminishing ourselves. We don’t need to bring ourselves down to think highly of others.

Humility that seeks validation is just pride in disguise. Real humility is unconscious. It is not the absence of self— it is the absence of self-obsession. Honesty paired with acceptance is not arrogance. Pride and humility have a blurry difference. How can one blame the people for not seeing it when nobody trained us to?

Humility has become a confused societal narrative. Misinterpreted. Misunderstood.

Humility begins when the ‘I’ fades. The disappearance of ‘I’ must be replaced with something greater, the introduction of ‘we’. ‘We’ stands as a representative of humanity. We must work together to make the world a better place for everyone.

One has not truly died who has not lived for others.
It is the instinct of beasts to live only for themselves—
A true human is one who lives—and if needed, dies—for humanity.

I am tired after such a reflective voyage. The journey is far from complete—it’s better to take some rest.

[are you humble?]

—C.G.