Written Out
May 25, 2026
I know
I do know
He wrote "I am in love with you" in invisible ink
He spoke these words into my love starved auditory awareness
and I believed
every
fucking word
Cancer
Fuck cancer
I can tell you how many times he utter the word "timing"
too many
Testing me pushed me away
Cruel poison scrawled across my Substack DMs
then bled into texts
and I did not fire back
I refused
screaming internally until my soul lost its voice
I see normal people talk about this soft goodbye
and wonder what the fuck is a soft goodbye?
is a soft goodbye easier?
or more fucking masochistic?
is it better to leave words unspoken?
to just walk away?
I ripped my vocal chords from their roots for this soft goodbye
394,461.45 minutes
I was easy to forget
Cancer
Fuck cancer
I am the bad guy for allowing my voice to grow new roots
My words are a voice screaming
My words are easy to deny
See red
Don't go any further
Cause' I'll be the villain
The bad guy now
For daring to speak the words tearing to be heard
Calling me a mother fucker and saying to me "fuck off"
was the only thing he could say
394,461.45 ago
Fuck cancer
Fuck the excuses
"I am in love with you"
as he wrote me out of his life
Nothing but a whore whose existence is only for his moment
I am easy to be written out of his story
I was never meant to be a memory
I was never meant to be written about
I was never meant to be remembered
I remember
Two candles will forever be lit
His altar will be tended too
My story will be an archive of my love for him

