who i was again

you are so alive

so full of sparkle

as Nana put it–

so "bubbly"

i love you so much

and i miss you dearly

maybe we could hang out sometime,

and not just when i'm sleepy

or unmedicated

because you are my inspiration

it's you i'm writing for

you are who i once was

you are who i want to be again

some days i find you

the way you are comes to the surface,

beaming and singing and dancing

just as if it was you

so i dedicate these times to you, babe

this uncertainty,

as i strive to be better

as i try to be who you think i am

because i love you