Tea For Us
Long live my friends!
Mar 21, 2026 · 7 min read
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The final guest arrived, and my long wooden table was finally full. The tea room was always my favorite place in the house. The walls and the ceiling depicted tea parties of various sorts. Close to the walls stood small fountains of tea, producing endless amounts of dark, liquid gold and filling the air with a wonderful aroma. Everything was lit by chandeliers shaped like teapots and kettles. But the guests were the most important part of any tea party, and so my attention was on them.
“Velka, Veron.” I approached the couple, “You don’t need to keep this head in a jar on the table. Just put it on the floor and enjoy your tea!”
Rudely, they ignored me for a few seconds, mesmerized by the ugly head in the jar they’d brought for some reason.
“Oh, sorry,” Velka said finally. “Yeah, sure, tea…” She sipped a little, her eyes widened, and she finally fully forgot about the head. “Vernon, quick, try this tea! It’s amazing!”
Her husband agreed with her assessment. My veins immediately became full of hot tea, putting a smile on my face. The incident with the jar was forgotten, and I moved on.
“Mara, my dear, have you tried the cake?” I put my hands on her shoulders.
She cranked her head up to see me. “Do you have something not sweet? I love pies and stuff with meat, cabbage, eggs, fish, cheese, potatoes, and all sorts of things.”
My eyebrow jumped up, for no one before has ever asked for non-sweet treats, but my fingers cracked, and the big cake in front of Mara was replaced by an assortment of savory mini-pies of all sorts.
“Please, enjoy!” I said, drinking up the delighted shine in her eyes.
The Supreme Lord could not make it today, and so he sent a small gift and an apologetic letter in his stead.
The next guests I had to attend to were Mark and Justina. Even though they weren’t a couple, Mark clearly fancied Justina, and she was enjoying the attention without encouraging it.
“How is the gelly? How’s the tea?” I asked, pretending not to notice them sneakily stuffing their pockets with food.
“Oh, it’ ‘o good!” Mark struggled to say with his mouth full.
“I’ve ‘ever eaten ‘eiks ‘o good!” Justina’s manners were even worse, for her whole face was covered in cream. I could swear I’d seen her face before somewhere, but I could not recall where.
I nodded, enjoying them enjoying my food. “It is my pleasure. The food will last the whole night, so eat as much as you wish.”
If Velka and Veron were rude by focusing on the head in the jar too much, Kaiya and Rolin were drinking up each other instead of my tea. Sitting close together, they held each other’s hands. Their legs were touching under the table, tied together by their long tails. And their horns were touching too, for they were constantly whispering something to one another, and then gazing into each other’s glowing eyes while grinning in a lustful manner.
“Kaiya, Rolin,” I put my hands on their muscular shoulders. “I know you know the concepts of tea and sweets. So, please, sample what you have in front of you and tell me your opinion.”
Their beautiful faces showed a bit of guilt as they glanced at me. Then, they did just what I wanted from them.
“Oh!” Kaiya’s green eyes went wide. “I’ve never tasted tea so good!”
“Indeed!” Rolin’s mouth was chewing fast. “This cake is so soft and interesting!”
These words melted my heart. I knew that no one else here could understand their language, yet it would not be a problem for the party because tea was the greatest equalizer!
Kelly was sitting next, clad from head to toe in a white suit that perfectly fitted her body. Well, except for the fact that the suit had a gaping mouth with long teeth, and Kelly was now feeding donuts to it.
“Does your suit find my sweets adequate?” I asked, trying to ignore Kelly’s shapes, accentuated by the suit.
“Yeah, the donuts are very good!” To my surprise, the suit itself answered.
I hurried to my next guests.
Unlike the rest, they were sitting on the table and not in chairs. If anybody else were to do that, I would’ve been mad. But Greg and Max were so tiny that it was the only way for them to reach the table and be seen by others.
“Enjoying yourselves?” I asked.
Their voices were too weak for the others to hear, but I could hear them perfectly.
“This tea is something else! Not bitter at all, and yet complex and with character!” said Greg.
“And these wafers are of the perfect size for us!” Max exclaimed.
I bowed, delighted, and went on.
Jen was sitting in the next chair, clad in a robotic exoskeleton with a camera bolted to it. The camera swiveled to look at me, and then Jen put down her cup and did the same.
“I’m glad you made it, Jen,” I addressed the woman, “and Sven,” I addressed the camera.
“Thank you, Hatter, for sending those chips!” Jen actually jumped to her feet and hugged me. “I couldn’t have fixed Sven without them.”
“Oh, don’t mention it, it was the least I could do.” Was I blushing? Shit, I definitely was!
“We’ll find a way to thank you, Hatter,” Sven’s robotic voice assured me as he swiveled his eye-camera up and down like he was nodding.
I left the weird couple be, passed an empty chair, for I could not find FieryFran anywhere, and approached Kira.
She was the only armed person here, and her concealed arsenal had everything from firearms and knives to magical amulets and lasers.
“Thank you for letting me stay here a while, Hatter,” Kira smiled at me, and I’ve never seen a more terrifying smile. “I’ll just rest a little and go back hunting.”
I shuddered at the thought of the creatures she swore to kill and quickly moved on.
The next two trios were too colorful and weird to describe.
But the next guests were describable: Mark, a tall, gray gnome called Mirk, a yellow harpy, a dark-blue lamia, and a blonde faun called Zoltan Broz. They also had a black cat with them, and I made sure to give him the best cat treats that existed in this universe.
“Is everything amazing with you lot?” I asked the colorful bunch.
Even though they were so different and had such different food in front of them, they got along so exceptionally well, like they had known each other for a millennia.
“Everything is superb, Mister Hatter,” Mirk assured me.
“You have impeccable taste both in food and interior design, Hatter,” Zoltan Broz remarked.
The rest of them thanked me in similar manners, and then I moved on.
Lopack and Mistress Chicken looked out of place here since chickens didn’t usually drink tea. Yet, those were just costumes.
“I must admit, Hatter, your tea thing is almost as good as my Juice.”
I put on a smile on my annoyed face and nodded.
“Errr…” Lopack glanced at me, then at his Mistress, and then at me again. “Yes, Juice, yes, your tea is great, mister. Almost as good as Juice, haha…”
I let the two fools alone and approached my last two guests.
Azi and Sayana were quiet. They weren’t sad, but neither were they cheerful. Their eyes didn’t shine, and yet they were full of resolve and energy. They fed each other by the spoonfuls, but there was no playful spirit to this process. They kept close to one another, talked, and felt comfortable, but they never glanced each other’s way while the other wasn’t looking.
There was nothing I could say to them, and so I addressed the whole room at once.
“Ladies and gentlemen! Humans and not. Lovers and friends. Welcome!” The conversations died off, and all heads turned towards me. “You all know me, and I know all of you. Eat, drink, and talk for as long as you can. Then take some rest and repeat the process. But first, a question. Why have I gathered all of you today?”
“Because you wanted to say how much you appreciate all of us, Hatter.” Kelly sounded confident because she knew she was right.
“And we all came because we wanted to say how much we appreciate you, Hatter,” Mistress Chicken added.
“Long live the Hatter!” Everybody raised their cups while tea-hot tears were running down my face.
“Long live my friends!” I nodded, crying, and raised my cup as well. “Long live my friends!”
The End
Anton Anderson, 2026
This story combines characters from all of my stories for Bradley Ramsey’s Flash Fiction February: