Sneezo-pocalypse
The Big Sneeze
May 3, 2026 · 2 min read
The sneeze was heard and felt around the world. A groundbreaking earthquake—it caused the lights to flicker, the windows and the walls to vibrate, and the pencil box on the teacher's desk to tip over. Pens, markers, paper clips, rubber bands and erasers tumbled onto the floor.
The teacher felt the mist hit her face. Her eyes shot to the little boy across the table. He grinned happily while tracing the ABCs, unfazed by the thick strings of dark green ooze dangling out of his nostrils.
“I’ve a box of tissues over there,” said the teacher, pointing to the Kleenex box on her desk. “Go grab one.”
The boy shook his head stubbornly and replied, "I'm alright," before audibly sucking the slimy green strings back up his nose.
“Are you sure?”
“Yup.”
The second sneeze was stronger and deafening. The other students ducked under the tables, while the force threw her off her chair. When she got up on her feet, she found the boy still diligently engrossed in his assignment. Strands of green snot dangled from his nostrils, and slowly, the goop slid over his lip and all the way down to his chin.
A weight fell on her hand. She looked down to see a glob of the green thing on her wrist. She felt herself turn green. She fought hard to keep her lunch down. As she reached for a tissue, her hand froze in mid-air as the glob unexpectedly expanded and morphed into a hand. It clamped down on her wrist.
She made a move for the hand sanitizer. The green hand tightened its grip. She screamed and gagged. It slithered up her sleeve, creeping toward her shoulder, and pressed its index finger against her trembling lips.
Shhh.
The boy looked up with a wide grin on his elfin face, his eyes gleaming with pride. “I’m all done!” he exclaimed, triumphantly holding up the assignment. Each alphabet letter was perfectly traced.
How this story came about
One of my young students sneezed in class and had the biggest and greenest glob of snot come out of his little nose. I offered a tissue, but he declined. Instead, he snorted the snot back in, and that scene burned into my brain.