Rolling the Wheels Back

Before the track hits

zero, and Haygood hollows

to the frost of a rink

gathering dust, let me

put the finger on the

timestamp, bring it

back.

*

My back

draws closer to his ‘cause the

buspirone’s not hitting

like a four-on-the-floor

funneling fumes between

the wheels on our wobbly feet,

and the space

laser lights

cleaving our

hands—I

don’t wanna pull you

down.

We untie our laces and

hand our rental skates to the

attendant, cycling out of the

turnstile back to the parking lot.

We enter the car and drive

through the rearview 

mirror to our seaside

apartment. That white

buspirone slides from my

mouth and into my pill

organizer with letters

of the week still royal

blue on plastic.

*

Pull me back

to how I sail past

my old coworkers surprised

I roll back from a tune

better aligned with my

falling rent.

The turnstile grinds

counterclockwise as we

trudge back up the dark

steps of the field trip buses,

return to our drudgery

of eighth graders falling

to seventh, sixth, even

young enough to maybe 

say six-seven/seven-six

before its time.

*

Take it back

to one roller skate

behind the other,

strolling backwards

with Missy Elliot re

-aligned to the track

when I was too

meager to feel the

flirt in her words,

but wanted to 

flip my limbs to the music

all the same.

dna deppilf gnis ,oot ,araiC ,itnashA 

reversed as I revert

from that iron turnstile,

my Sister and Mom turning

to the car in R

to a sea that stepped back

and forth, no matter

whether Dad stepped back

from Iraq into the house,

his hands off the trigger

of Mom’s tears, whether

the first grade

teacher rolled the TV cart

in or out of the room

the day an explosion

furled itself into

two towers

standing

still.

I took inspiration for the idea of playing things in reverse from “Künstlerroman,” a fascinating poem from Ocean Vuong’s collection Time is a Mother. I hope y’all enjoyed how I used reversal as a vehicle in this piece.

Another point of inspiration was the recent closure of the Haygood Skating Center, which I used to go to a lot as a child. You can read about that skating rink here.