object of affection

they praise me for my beauty
and hunt me for my pride
the world wars against me—
my purity, the prize.

my blood you covet dearly,
its loss is my demise.
the object of your affection
is nothing but a guise.

used and then discarded,
once you have had your way.
no longer well regarded,
repudiated, i the prey.

my worth is in my body
and scorned is my mind.
you claim i’m hysterical,
insane
if i have the audacity to say no
to your little game.

you can’t blame me for breaking
after you and your inescapable systems
tore me apart
leaving me shattered and shaking
forced to pick up my own pieces.

my humanity is clear
i promise i’m a person too.
you made me into just a vessel
for you and only you.

i need to be stunning,
pretty as can be.
yet you despise me, screaming vanity.
how dare i play the role you cast me in?

i hate your leering stare
eyes follow me everywhere i go
my soul cries out for mercy
cracking beyond repair.

my heart is filled with love,
and you know my mind has multitudes.
yet still i am nothing
but an object for you
and your shallow enjoyment.

the masses shout from rooftops,
yet call me crass and rude.
you aren’t welcome,
can’t you see that your very existence
intrudes?
we despise you,
you whore, you prude.

this is a post that is full of rawness and rage. unfortunately, we live in a world where a woman’s entire worth is based on her body, no matter her other accomplishments. there’s so much obsession with it: beauty standards, eating disorders, smash or pass, the disturbing obsession with taking girl’s virginity and having that define a woman while men can do literally anything. we literally can’t win, we’re either prudes or whores, and either one is wrong.

the title of this post is “object of affection,” which i found incredibly fitting. whether we’re treated with affection or outrage, we are almost always viewed as nothing more than objects. i’m not saying all men, but as a society, as a system, things are incredibly messed up, and i’m here to call that out.

to whomever is reading this— you are a whole person, unique in your entirety, beautiful in your individuality. thank you for your bravery and kindness, please keep making the world a better place. you matter more than you could possibly know.