Nowhere baby

“What are you gonna do next?” She asked.

Her eyes had stopped searching beyond his head.

She felt relief at her legs being allowed to dangle freely. She was surprised by how tightly his hand gripped hers as he stood hunched over, above her, with his boots in the grass that stopped just short of the edge of Nowhere.

“What? Hmm, well... What would you like me to do?” He shifted his weight back a bit, deepening his squat to plant his footing, lest he be the one to slip and fall into the deep chasm below.

“Nothing.” Her voice was as calm as the light breeze that swirled the remaining tatters of her dress around her body while she was suspended high above the flat-packed sandy bottom of Nowhere Canyon.

Her face was eerie to him, almost serene.

No more crying, and she’d never done any pleading. Even here, now with her whole body hanging off the edge of the cliff where he was perched above her. How different it was that she wasn’t trying with all her might to clasp his wrist with her other hand and pull herself up by the arm he held onto tightly, as it was her only tether to safety above.

“Ha, well that... uh, um.” He couldn’t believe how calm she was. Something was wrong. What did she know that he didn’t? He mulled a moment while admiring the brilliant bursts of bloodshed that waved up to him from the longest shreds of her dress flapping in the wind. He’d always liked when they came wrapped in blue, he’d always thought they made the best-

She inhaled sharply, and he refocused on her face again.

Her eyes weren’t right, just now. The golden flecks scattered across the deep brown of her iris were so well illuminated by the rays of dawning sun streaking past him that they seemed to glow. But somehow, her pupils weren’t dilated anymore, even after the past few days in the dark.

“Where do you think we… go - when we die?” Her question began with conviction, but then, midway, her voice trailed off quietly until she got out the last word with only a deafening wisp of breath. Followed by another struggling inhale.

“Probably doesn’t matter. Much, but...” His grip on her hand was beginning to loosen. Not from fatigue, he’d only just put them in this position. Her grip on his attention was starting to slip.

“-But if you had to guess?” She insisted with a small smile, despite the dead hang of her frame threatening to pull this shoulder out of socket, too.

He glanced to his side; thought he’d heard something.

Then realized it was just a squirrel fussing over its babies in a nest tucked up in a tree across the overgrown path. Cute little buggers, too bad the hunters picked them off for skins only.

“Why? Do you think you’ll be singing with sweet angels soon? A filthy girl like you?” The curiosity in his voice sounded genuine.

“No, I’ve never thought anything like that... Just wondered if... well, if you ever had?” She managed with considerable effort this time, drawing in a full breath as gravity seemed to increase its tug on her body with every second, threatening her ability to stay conscious.

“Why?” He stretched his torso a moment to ease the tension on his back. He closed his eyes and sighed, enjoying the stretch. He was gonna need this long 4th of July weekend to rest. Maybe the Church’s Food Stand would still have some wrapped to-go plates left by the time he made it back to town.

“You’re the last person I’m ever going to talk to, and you don’t seem interested in last requests.” She answered.

When he swung his face around to meet hers once more, his expression changed to one of newfound interest. Keen curiosity. The wheels were spinning in the other direction.

“You know how to cook… home cookin’?” He asked, nicely this time, squinting at her arms as if noticing she also had those body parts for the very first time.

Now her face changed too, a flash of recognition mixed with a lot of dread. She’d heard this kind of question before, asked by men to women they wanted to keep for themselves, selfishly hoarded away from the rest of the world.

Her wide-eyed expression vanished with a long blink and another labored breath, followed by a hard swallow. Then she turned her head to stare off further down the side of the cliff face for a moment before nodding her head without looking back at him.

“Aight, but I reckon you know damn well where fast girls like you go…?” He said quickly, his voice excited now. His grip on her strained wrist was still loose, and now there was a bit of moisture forming in his palm.

“Nowhere, baby.” She whispered the words he’d hissed in her ear when she’d asked where he was taking her that first night after he’d grabbed her from behind and stuffed her into his car with the dirty windows and all of the door locks broken off inside.

“Unless... well, huh... maybe you wanna stay...?” His eyes darted to her dress again, and then he bit into his lower lip while doing his best impression of smiling gently down at her.

Her descent seemed to last a full minute.

After the sudden release… though, it was mere seconds before her body was torn asunder with pieces strewn about a few feet in every direction by the impact on the hard clay bed just below the layer of silt that lined the footpath below.

“She was different.” He mused after seeing her close her eyes the whole way down as she spread her arms wide with her palms open as she fell. He would have sworn she had a faint smile.

“Maybe I could have kept her?” He wondered aloud as he got back into his car and started the engine.

If she hadn’t been the only one to let go first.

Nowhere baby

~ Author's Afterward:

In honor of the impression left upon me as to what's possible for a woman to write about & the world take notice - after I read J.C. Oates's "Where are You Going, Where have You been?" in English Honors (High School).