If the cap fits

You said:

“if the cap fits wear it”

And it did

so I did

though never becoming

the style and size

were all wrong

but you knew that didn’t you

that was your intention

all along

exposure and ridicule

colours so hideous they clashed

sentimental screaming

that flashed

on and off in my skull

Lightbulb popping self revelation

a tidal wave of doubt

leaving me blindsided

then the lights went out

Skullcap surrounded

pudding basin

moods

fleshy backpinned

cotton candy spun

clung to my wreckage

between my ears burning

nothing

but idle gears churning

I learnt to pull it down hard

tight

over disbelieving eyes

as if it’s bone-stayed rigidity

could contain my fragile collapse

my world set alight

contained

only confusion

inside it’s smooth silky

succulent seduction

it promised the earth

together we could pretend

to be worthy

by putting my world to rights

the devil’s delighted editing the highlights

I can still hear your starched laughter

hyena mockery

finger face-poking cackling derision

“If the Cap fits, wear it

but be sure to

Screw it down tight!”

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