I Want To Touch Your Mind

In the darkest moments of my life, I have always found you, and your warm embrace is what saves me each time. Your eyes look into mine, and though they are dark in color, they appear to glow brighter than the stars in the night sky. They are kind eyes, and one of my favorite features of yours.

It is always painful to say how much I love you, as I know I should bite my tongue and stay quiet.

I always know that my truth must stay a lie.

I always know I cannot touch your heart.

I cannot touch your mind.

I want to, though. I want to be a part of your life, feel your lips touch mine, and enjoy the sensation of your hands grazing my skin. You are so many things in my eyes, and each night when I dream, I see you. Though that may be a night of blissful sleep, I am greeted each day with tears, as you are never with me.

I am never enough.

Which I understand, as you are perfection, as your body was sculpted by the Gods above, divinely made in their image. You are my Heracles, my Perseus, and my Orpheus, a God among mere mortals, or an artist of a beautiful tragedy. You are what we desire to be: a heavenly being, a hero, a lover, and a God. When you speak, the world listens to your wisdom with joy and glee, and life sprouts. Each word is that of a lyrical song, with a cadence and rhythm we are so blessed to hear.

My hero.

My savior.

The reason for the air in my lungs, and why I desire to bathe in the golden rays of the sun. I want and need to be in your presence, as you are the light of my life and the wind beneath my wings. But every night, the tendrils of sadness hold me close, enwrapping me in a cocoon of sorrow, as the ultimate form of protection from accepting the reality that I will never be on your mind.

Another has caught your eye.

Another lives in your hearts.

Another sleeps in your arms.

I am not even in second place, as the competition was all a delusional fantasy I created to cope with the betrayal and heartbreak of knowing goodbye is always our hello. Drifting through the land of dreams and ‘what ifs…’ I can only pray each night at your altar, and wish that one day I will drift into your mind. I wish for the day that I can be your lover and be enough for your love.

My dear Heracles.

My dear Perseus.

Oh, my loving Orpheus.

You are my guiding light, and the object of my complete devotion.

Gorgeous.

Godly.

Everything my heart craves.

I want the sheer thought of me to linger within the folds and crevices of your mind. The idea of me should give you peace, just like you grant me life.

I am an unworthy mortal, and that is why I am forever cast aside in your life.

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