Four Pints

I am a pale emaciated corpse of a memory.

Of a time where I was innocent and naive.

Being indoctrinated by him, who told me of his concept of right

and of wrong.

He did not tell me of the consequences of either.

He couldn't be bothered.

He was too busy applying their veneer

to hide the shame, guilt, hatred, and misery.

I cried "I did what you told me! I acted as you instructed!"

The bitter strike of an acid tongue liquified my innocence.

Drip

Drip

Drip

The pain of my innocence was left on the floor of an apartment in McKinney Texas

The consequences rooted me.

Taught me.

Silenced me.

Indifference became rotten branches

Fear became poisonous fruit

I dined on the flesh of the fruit

I drank their bitter juices

I received no nourishment

My memories

My innocence

Were nothing more than shattered fragments

put the pieces back together

Humpty Dumpty was put back

you can

you can remember the right

the wrong

pull the corrupt roots

destroy putrescent flesh

incinerate the fruits of his labor

I scream as I tear every root entwined to my feet and legs

I staggered leaving behind a trail of sanguine remnants

I am afflicted with embedded resistance

I have become debilitated.

I plummet onto Her holy ground.

Every pore

Every orifice a deluge of the bitter purge surrenders to Her holy ground

I scream as the ichor gushes from me threatening to choke my spirit

the right is always questioned

the wrong is always shunned

the punishment for either is swift

doing nothing erodes the essence making you human

I remember, and I am no longer eroding into my subjugation

I will not live under the oppression of his feeble ruminations

of piety that has lead to his downfall.

I remember his voice verbalizing the good deeds he has accomplished

The quiet dark corners hold his venom.

My memories are crashing upon me.

Of doing the right thing for him.

The pain of words unspoken

can't you see I love you. can't you see I would have gone with you to the very end.

Pain of dreams destroyed by a diagnosis

730 days I wanted with you

I honored what was right for him

I punish myself for this honor