Fleshbucket

Tiktok’s definitive on the issue: hogstrotters now a no-no.
Immediate excision mandated, new challenge issued.
Beauty canon plenty demanding — but hey! rules is rules.
Pass the fleshbucket, hun. Ampu-schlock-goodness ahead!

I'm a striver n’ survivor, no ask too harsh for my ever-lovin' heart.
Got new hog-gammon gams just last Tuesday? Late adopter then,
was late to the party — that’s my bad, no crap. Now I pay in pain.
Hand me the buzzsaw, bub, an’ plug yer earholes. Shit be gettin’ loud.

Challenge says light opiates or rawdog ampute only.
Fuck that stupe rigmarole sideways, ya sadsack butt-baboon!
I'm s’posta saw away my hoggy unhot-to-trot extremities?
Full fentanyl dosage called for then — an' thas atta minimum.

Sedative spike to buttcheek toute-de-suite, sweetie!
—supplemental to foresaid analgesic soothement.
A swift chugalug o' ron moreno to boot too, me beauty?
Don’t mind if I do, cariño… ¡Aaarrr — así es, mi piraaata!

Tournie-kay tighten. Hurts not at all, speakin’ numb to numbnuts.
Buzzsaw slice butterclean through the thighstuff chop-chop quick.
Femoral artery spatter make splish-splash splatterpatterns,
kinda curlicue cool and kinky-camp kinetic ker-rrazy!

In my fleshbucket they go, unwanted untrendy limblets,
lil’ piggytrotters goin’ whee whee whee allaway home.
Cauterize sizz-sizz-sizzle brings porkchop aroma back,
redolent BBQ whiff of those long-ago backyard nites.