february struggles

february has

crushed my spirits

dazzled my demons

in unfavorable positions

putting me in nightmarish scenes

that do not seem

to have a pause button

every day

the universe

sends out a message

proposing extinction

maybe i should’ve accepted the fate

but i was told not to

by empathetic personalities

that i thought were rarities

in a world

conquered by heartlessness

amplified by negativity

Portions of which have shaped my internal dialogue

writing thousands of different scripts

that are insanely overwhelming

to my already vanquished nervous system

which feeds into constant burnout

effectively destroying my capability to function

an immense amount of brain power

is being used to play those scripts out

with each one of them having different outcomes

unfortunately

all scenarios lead to eventual death

therefore

it is vital

that the well-being

gets a taste of joy

and satisfaction

installed

on our ground

i yearn for my existence

to not be messed with

by the devil

who roots against

my humanity

i have a dream

to chase my personal legend

that the universe

has assigned to me

i would love a humanity

where people can feel safe

and secure

while building community

within each other

my contributions that i desire

is enough value

for me to stay put

maybe the people were right

why should i let myself disappear

when i have these envisioned plans

that await me

and my depressive episode

that shall be cured

sooner

rather than later

pretend this month didn’t exist

burn it to the ground

let the smoke remind the soul

that you have so many opportunities

yet to be released

let this be the beginning

of a man

who will make his mom

weep so many happy tears

when he wins his first court case

wearing his navy blue suit

in the glorious courtroom