Today I turned 6251 days old. I haven't yet orbited Saturn and I don't know about any of the other planets, although I know Venus has 225 days...

Anyways, at 17, I can definitely say that my life has become so much better than we believed it would be. I've grown so much (not physically, unfortunately, but in terms of resilience and faith).

Before I tell you more about myself, I want tk take the time to take you by the hand and tell you: I'm sorry.

You were hurt, and I'm sorry.

You were abandoned, and I'm sorry.

You were love-starved, and cried more than you should have. I'm really, really sorry.

The reason I'm telling you this is because no one else has told you this.

No one told you that they were sorry, when they clearly should have.

It isn't fair, what happened to you.

You don't deserve it – and it most certainly does not reflect on your innocent, caring heart. I'm still learning that people's bad behaviour towards me is not my fault.

And I really struggle with that, because, I always try to change my own behaviour, because that is something I can control and if I can do something better, why shouldn't I?

I have to say, though, that everything you've been through has made you stronger and more aware and more sensitive towards others. Yes, I know, that this isn't the way you should be learning these skills, but ultimately – you are far tougher and more resilient than others because of what you've been exposed to.

I also want to thank you for hanging in there, for refusing to let your last petal fall.

You've allowed me to experience so, so many beautiful things:

• I've discovered my dream of helping people, especially people whk feel dark and without hope, the way I know you feel sometimes

• I've fallen in love. It didn't work out, but it was far deeper and truer than the crushes you love to have (and still do!)

• I've gotten over my long-term feud with strawberries and blueberries, and now I love them!

• I've danced in pouring rain with the best friends I've ever had

People may still hurt me, but you've taught me that I am far more than they believe I am. I'm going to create a beautiful life – for me. For You.

Love, Zaidia