Chop-Chop!

The story was written for The Halls of Pandemonium event by Bradley Ramsey.

If you want to read more of my writings, please read my published books: The Seekers: Soul-Ties, Kirin, and Perrin Peters. And if you don’t want to buy my books but still want to support me, I’m on Patreon. And if you prefer one-time payments, you can Buy Me A Pizza or a Coffee.

Yellow eyes of Black Paws gazed upon his majestic reflection in a puddle next to the road. Framed by the blue sky, the fluffy white cat was an exemplar of stillness. It wasn’t laziness (at least not today). It was a ploy. Underneath the cat, somewhere behind the curb and the gutter, was a mouse. Not a hamster or squirrel, oh ho, Black Paws’ ears knew for sure that was a mouse. And so, he had to sit perfectly still. And when the reflection of the mouse would appear, then he’d—

“Would you look at that!” A high-pitched, delighted squeal almost ruined his concentration.

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, he’s so cute!” Another high-pitched voice announced its presence.

Black Paws sighed quietly and resumed his—

“Meow!” he cursed, as a human hand stroked against his fur.

“Look at these paws, Mia! He’s all white as snow, but in black gloves!”

“And socks, and socks!” the other human joined the petting session, ignoring the indignation on the cat’s face.

“Why’s he just sitting here?” The first human was petting and talking at the same time. Well, at least she was doing it right, which was a small consolation for her rudeness.

“I dunno. Oh, damn, he’s so cute. Where’s his collar?” the other asked.

“I don’t see it. Maybe he’s a stray? Or maybe there’s a chip under the skin somewhere?”

“I know what you’re getting at, Naomi. Okay, let’s take him. The veterinarian will check if there’s a chip.”

“Really? Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, thanks, Mia!”

The word “veterinarian” didn’t promise anything good, but the phrase “let’s take him,” on the other hand…

“I accept your offer!” Black Paws straightened up and turned towards his humans. “So, show me my apartment, then, chop-chop! It’s almost lunch time, people, move it!”

~*~

Silly cat! Rimma the Mouse thought while chilling in the gutter under the sidewalk. Yes, you sit right above me, all statue-like, but I could hear you when you were coming. And now, I can see you very clearly in this puddle. You really chose the worst spot for waiting for your pray, cat!

Trying not to laugh, Rimma the Mouse munched on the scraps of food she occasionally stored here and waited for the cat to leave. After all, he could not wait there forever, could he?

“Oh, would you look at that!” An annoying human voice attracted her attention.

Maybe they’ll scare the cat away? Or at least annoy him enough to leave? Excited and hopeful, Rimma waited without taking another breath.

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, he’s so cute!”

Yes, the cat is indeed cute, you, another human, miss, person! Just take him with you!

“Meow!” The loud, angry cry was music for Rimma’s sensitive ears.

Run away from those annoying humans, feline! Or go with them if you prefer, I really don’t care.

“Look at these paws, Mia! He’s all white as snow, but in black gloves!”

Paws? Rimma shuddered, imagining the sharp claws. Imagining how they skewer her, letting her guts out of her skin.

“And socks, and socks!”

Socks? The mouse immediately relaxed, holding an image of something soft and safe in her head. Shit, what’s up with the swing of emotions you’re putting me through, people!

“Why’s he just sitting here?”

Why? Because he’s hunting me, you silly human! Isn’t it obvious?

“…damn, he’s so cute. Where’s his collar?”

Collar? Rimma’s heart began racing. Yes, chain that cat! First, take him, and then don’t let him out of your house without your close supervision!

“…Maybe he’s a stray? Or maybe there’s a chip under the skin somewhere?”

He is a stray, alright. Just take him already!

“I know what you’re getting at, Naomi. Okay, let’s take him…”

“YES!!!” Rimma squeaked from delight, barely stopping herself from running out of her cover to witness that sight. “YES, YES, YES!!! Take him and leave right now!”

The human footsteps let the mouse know that her wish had come true. She now had at least one more day to live, and it was glorious! Praise be to humans and their desire to have furry things. And their ability to generate so much edible trash. And the warmth of their houses. And the warmth of their whole cities, actually. Praise be to humans!

~*~

For a while now, Nester the Crow sat on a low tree and watched a motionless white cat. Even if he hadn’t seen the mouse taking refuge below the sidewalk earlier, the cat’s stillness would’ve still told him everything. No cat sat like that without a reason, and anyone as experienced as Nester knew that.

Something told the crow that the cat didn’t think this through. Something told him that the moment the mouse was to come out, the cat would start running, wet his paws in the puddle, and recoil from the water. That would be his chance! The mouse would continue running straight forward, and he, the majestic Nester the Crow, would be ready.

A couple of talkative humans came. Their petting scared the focused cat and interrupted his watch. Seconds passed. The humans weren’t leaving, increasing the likelihood of them taking the feline.

A hint of sadness entered Nester’s mind. He had never heard of humans taking random crows to their homes. If those crows were sick and needed help, then yes, it happened, but they never took healthy birds. Why was the world so unfair? Why did humans prefer fur to feathers?

Pondering these questions, Nester the Crow didn’t notice how the humans carried the cat away. He didn’t notice how the mouse he hoped to catch ran away. By the time he came to his senses, the street was deserted, aside from a bag of birdseed some human had managed to drop. A delicious birdseed at that, in a thin paper packaging that attracted the crow like a magnet.

The End

Anton Anderson, 2026