Blue and Eggless

If you want to read more of my writings, please read my published books: The Seekers: Soul-Ties, Kirin, and Perrin Peters. And if you don’t want to buy my books but still want to support me, I’m on Patreon. And if you prefer one-time payments, you can Buy Me A Pizza or a Coffee.

This story is a prequel to A Bullet Stained Blue.

Blue and Eggless was beta-read by Mina Howell and Hylia Corvidae.

“Attack, everyone! For Blue Leader!”

Turret gun fire came alive above their heads, lighting everything with deadly yellow light and shaking the early morning air.

The black soil exploded as tanks burst free from their underground hiding. Their engines roared as they rushed forward, spewing death upon the watchtowers in the distance and.

Grace rushed out of her trench and sprinted towards the colossal Red Base, leading her Blue soldiers forward the same way the other lieutenants and captains did. The Red enemy stirred up and returned fire. The Blue soldiers spread out, running around the remains of titans, old craters, old broken tanks, and other garbage. The first unfortunate who had to use tanks as cover had already scattered their remains all over the field, feeding the soft soil. Yet, Grace was used to this sight.

The first enemy trenches were so close. The remaining tanks ran over them, and the Blue attackers poured in. Grace’s automatic rifle kicked her in the shoulder, drowning out the screaming. The blood of her enemy sprayed over her face, but she was used to it.

Their plan had to be carried out precisely, and she memorized it perfectly. As her squad arrived, she led them deeper through the winding pathways, methodically clearing out the trench. The Red Base was a long way off, and there were many more trenches to capture. The war would not be won today, but they would eventually do it, step by—

BAM-BAM-BAM!!!

Grace returned fire instinctively, and then her vision darkened, and she dropped to the ground.

“Lieutenant!” Hasan cried out, kneeling near her. “Medic!”

Grace’s vision cleared up for a moment, and she saw where the bullets came from. One of the wooden walls that supported the trench was now on the ground, revealing a hole in the soil where an enemy soldier had concealed himself. He surely figured he’d be located eventually and decided to go out with a bang.

The pain finally came as Hasan put pressure somewhere in the lower part of her torso. Grace winced, then recounted the plan to him: in which order to clear the trenches, where the ammo depos were, and where to meet the rest of the attackers. Hasan’s face was tense, clearly not because he tried so hard to remember her words, yet he said nothing and listened. And when she was done, they left her.

The medic was saying something, fussing over her, and the pain was mostly gone, but all Grace cared about was the deep-red, endless, sunless sky. Would it finally take her? Would it finally set her free? Of course it would, judging by the encroaching darkness and cold. Yet, would it actually be her salvation? If there were an underworld, would it be peaceful and pain-free? Or would she envy the horror of the living world?

~*~

Bright light stung Grace’s retinas as she opened her eyes. The red sky was gone, replaced by a white, high ceiling. The weird heaviness and numbness told her that she was pumped chock-full of anesthesia. Yet, she did manage to turn her head, seeing the familiar rows of white beds and the familiar doctors and nurses walking between them. Maimed and disabled doctors and nurses, for all of the able-bodied were soldiers. Still, their disabilities didn’t stop the doctors from doing an impeccable job of prolonging the agony of the survivors.

A lot of beds were occupied, but it was hard to tell what shape the others were in. Yet, in what shape was she? The toes seemed to be moving, the same as the fingers. Aside from a single IV, nothing else was hooked up to her. So, was she… What?

If she were able to go back, was it a blessing or a curse? She’d be able to come up with a strategy for capturing the next set of Red trenches and eventually winning this endless war, and finally introducing herself to her kids. She’d be able to shield a fellow soldier with her body or recognize a trap and order a retreat. She’d see her dear Talsin and have a few rounds of hot sex. She’d become pregnant again and sentence a new human to a life of misery.

Yet, if she were no longer fit to fight, she could, just could, be assigned to the teaching duty, allowing her to see her and Talsin’s kids even without winning the war. If she were given the duty of an engineer, she’d have the opportunity to invent a weapon that would eventually end this war. Yet, since the factories were behind front lines, she would never see Talsin again.

The clatter of heavy boots came from somewhere. “Grace!” Talsin’s horrified voice cried out as his dirty, bloodied face appeared in her field of vision.

“Oh, Grace, I thought we wouldn’t die together!” The relief in his voice put a smile on her face. “I’m so glad you’ve made it.”

His lips met hers, and even though she was too numb to really feel their touch, the gesture sent hot streams of happiness down her veins and hot tears of happiness down her cheeks.

“I don’t see any wounds except for these bandages,” he murmured, examining her body and then grabbing the patient’s sheet. “Let’s see…”

Silence.

Grace looked at the black plastic back of the clipboard that obscured Talsin’s face, wondering what diagnosis he had read. Finally, her husband lowered the board, and his face was visibly pale despite all of the dirt and blood on it.

~*~

Talsin was called back to the front line. The only video call with him happened to be the only one. Being soldiers and serving Blue Leader was everything. Male soldiers were meant to rot in the trenches and get occasionally blown up. Female soldiers were meant to pop the recruits out of their bellies and occasionally lead charges on the Red Base. Without her ovaries, Grace was no longer a fully-fledged soldier. She could no longer serve to the extent Blue Leader needed from her, for in vitro fertilization existed only in history books. She was a failure now, in need of expensive hormones to keep herself fully in shape, and stuck somewhere in between the maimed service workers and the healthy soldiers.

The doctors thought Grace was lying about having no physical pain, for her face was constantly red from tears, and looked exhausted from the lack of sleep. The scars below her belly were fresh and ugly, unlike the rest of her scars that were beautiful. Talsin did not change his mind, or maybe he did but didn’t have the strength to admit it. Whatever. Duty called, and so she rejoined her comrades in the trenches.

It was weird to receive her weapons and ammo. She didn’t deserve them anymore, and the look on the ordnance sergeant’s face confirmed it. The air was still chilly, smelling of blood and metal, and shaking regularly from distant explosions. The sky was dark-red and sunless, as always. The trenches were the same black soil reinforced with timber walls. Yet, nothing was the same.

“Grace?” Derek stopped looking through his binoculars to give her a confused look. “Shouldn’t you be on uterus duty?”

“Did something happen to Talsin?” Allan also stared at Grace, who had no more tears left. “I haven’t heard anything.”

She shook her head, trying to unclench her fists. The questions would continue until she told them. It could as well happen today.

“Unless someone donates her ovary to me, and unless my body would not reject it, I will not create any more recruits.”

The soldiers looked at one another. Different thoughts and feelings flashed on their tired, wrinkled, almost lifeless faces, and she knew that at least some of them mirrored Talsin’s thinking.

“So…” Allan scratched his stubble, “it means you can now fuck whenever you want, right? You can help us out, Grace. Just nine months, and then our wives return to the frontlines.”

Grace frowned, looking at him. At them, for Derek looked interested as well. There was something she wanted to say to them, but what was it? There was something she now wanted to do to them, but it was against regulations. The silence dragged on, and so Grace simply pushed her way between them and went to find the Captain.

Even though she was still a lieutenant, female captains were common, for it was they who developed tactics and led new assaults on the Red Base. But when all women were behind the front lines protecting their round bellies from stray bullets, the trenches still needed leaders, and thus, rare male captains who usually occupied watchtowers.

“Lieutenant?” Captain Jorgensen addressed her. “You couldn’t find the duty sergeant?”

A soldier next to him looked surprised when he heard that question. Were the captains and doctors truly the only ones who had heard about her situation?

Grace shook her head. “I know where he is, but now I also know that Derek and Allan see me as a piece of meat, now. I don’t think they will try to force themselves on me, but I also no longer can expect them to have my back. In fact, I can’t expect myself to have their backs either.”

The Captain sighed heavily, shaking his head in resignation. “Okay, let me sort this out.”

~*~

Indeed, nothing was the same anymore. Grace was transferred to the farthest corner of another trench, where she could expect a swift, solitary death, since these corners were the perfect entrances for the eventual Red counteroffensive.

Time passed, and Talsin was still pretending she didn’t exist when they were both at the mess hall or somewhere else in the Blue Base. Was he really so brainwashed that he could not learn to bear her failure? Had he really loved her once?

Grace had to stop crying. Laughter and joy had to replace or at least mask the pain. She needed to change on her own volition after a change had been inflicted on her.

The medics, having healed the last wounded some time ago, were happy to attempt something new and granted Grace’s wish. Now, her breasts and belly looked just like in her old photo before her first pregnancy. She had to take hormones now, but menstruation was no longer a thing. And now she was no longer far away from stray bullets and mortar shells for nine months at a time. So, her new life definitely had its advantages.

With no one to talk to, Grace could stare at the dead and destroyed land all around her without interruptions. And it got her thinking. These two Bases were the last on the planet. This war zone was the last. So, it could not be that the planet did not heal itself in all these decades. Somewhere, far away, there could be animals that weren’t rats, insects that weren’t cockroaches. Maybe there was a place with small flying beings called birds? Maybe the massive bodies of water called oceans and seas were once again full of weird creatures called fish?

These dreams were pleasant but pointless. No one would allow her to leave and find those wonderful places. If only this war were to end. Then, she would no longer be a failure in Talsin’s eyes. Then, she’d be able to introduce herself to her kids. Was there a way to end the conflict? Meeting the war’s objective was impossible, for no one remembered why it started but Blue and Red Leaders.

Blue and Red Leaders? Yes, that could be it! If she could think about ending the war, Blue Leader could also be persuaded. She probably didn’t even need to hack into his robotic brain—pushing it into the right direction could be enough.

Was it the first true goal in her life? An objective that could bring peace and recovery instead of inflicting suffering and destruction? Yes, it probably was, and now, it fully consumed Grace. She started spending every second she could spare studying computers, coding, and reverse-engineering. If the Red were to attack now, she would probably fail to see them coming and sound the alarm. But if she were to succeed, there would be no need for an alarm, only for a joint celebration.

~*~

It was ready!

Barely able to contain herself, Grace was lying on the bed in her quarters, staring at the small data cylinder in her hand. There was no way to check if she did everything correctly, but, at the very least, plugging the cylinder into the mainframe shouldn’t sound any alarms. So, even if she’d made a mistake, it would be possible to fix it and try again.

Yet, the mainframe door had two keyholes, and a single person could not turn both keys at the same time. Who could help her? Talsin? One of the captains? One of the invalids? Whose mind was sufficiently free from Blue Leader’s influence? Whose body was fit enough to do everything quietly, quickly, and under the veil of the night? No matter how long she thought, only one answer came to her.

She had to find a Red soldier willing to help. Even if he were talkative, the rumors wouldn’t reach the Blue Base, allowing Grace to try again. Sending the message to the Red would be easy. And to lead him to the Blue Base, she could simply dig a tunnel. Yes, it could work! Most of the plan was formed. The missing piece of the puzzle was the keys.

One was always carried by the Captain, and Grace really needed the Red soldier’s help to get it. The second key… Fuck, Grace, you’re a genius! It was always locked in the safe. And even though the safe was opened regularly to check that the key was still there, nothing would stop her from making a duplicate.

With those thoughts in mind and with a bar of soap in her pocket, Grace sneaked out of her quarters into the deserted, dark corridors of the Blue Base. Her breathing and footsteps were probably loud enough to be heard in the whole base. Her height made her easy to spot and hard to hide in the shadows. And yet, she pressed on, half-feeling her way forward with her outstretched hand, half-relying on her memory.

Freeze!

She pressed herself into the wall as a flashlight of a patrolman announced his presence. The white beam of light pierced the darkness right where Grace had stood a moment ago. The footsteps sounded closer and closer. The knife in Grace’s hand was ready to deliver a silent death. An incinerator was nearby. If no one found his body, everyone would assume he had deserted… It would be okay… One death to save so many…

Somehow, he didn’t hear Grace’s heartbeat as he walked past her, but she did hear the music in his earphones. Such behavior had to be reported in any other situation, but not on this night.

More patrolmen were on her path. Raya, the maintenance sergeant, had her quarters on the opposite side of the base, but somehow, Grace arrived there unseen. The door opened noiselessly, allowing surprise inspections or intruders. Pushing away the thought that the Captain could want to inspect her quarters today, Graced sneaked in.

Raya’s quarters were a bit smaller than hers, but the layout was mostly the same. Listening to the peaceful breathing of the crippled woman, Grace felt her way towards the safe next to the locker. The combination lock had a small flaw — the digits were embossed on its surface, and her fingertips could read them in the darkness. Grace turned the dial once, hoping the code was still the same. Grace turned the dial in the opposite direction, thanking the chance that forced Raya to give her the code many years ago. Without breathing, Grace turned the dial the last time.

The quiet click all but destroyed her eardrums. Amazed, she quickly opened the door, felt the key inside, and pressed it against her bar of soap, making an impression.

She’s done it!

Nothing would stop her now. Even if patrolmen saw her, she could probably kill them and creep away. Nobody would come to her corner of the trenches and find her digging. The only real obstacle was the Captain, but she’d hit that target in due time.

For the first time in her life, the future seemed bright. Her mouth was actually grinning, reminding her of the feeling she had long forgotten. It totally made sense for the world to be healed by a broken person. It was absolutely fitting for her to save them all after having killed so many. All that was left was to make the last few steps. Crucial steps, sure, but the last ones.

The End

Anton Anderson, 2026

Read the sequel, A Bullet Stained Blue.