Achievement Unlocked
A Horror Story in Achievements
Achievement Unlocked: Rise and Shine, Baby!
Wake up 10,000 days in a row.
Data Source: YU-Track sleep monitor
Achievement Unlocked: Intermittent Faster
Skip breakfast seven days in a row.
Data Source: YU-Track gastrointestinal motility monitor
Achievement Unlocked: Dry Fire
Try and fail to make a bowel movement.
Data Source: YU-Track gastrointestinal motility monitor
Achievement Unlocked: Marlboro Man
Have a cigarette first thing in the morning.
Data Source: YU-Track spirometer
Achievement Unlocked: Let’s Get Stoopid!
Loiter on your front steps for over thirty minutes.
Data Source: Door camera DCAM-X5P7-3948-LQ22
Achievement Unlocked: La Vida Tequila
Have a tequila shot before noon.
Data Source: Fridge camera SFCM-24A9-Q7L3-9821-ZX
Achievement Unlocked: Off Label
Use a prescription medicine for recreational purposes.
Data Source: Hydropmorphone SmartCap
Achievement Unlocked: Cyberspace Frontiersman
Spend over an hour online before noon.
Data Source: Bluecon ISP
Achievement Unlocked: Pole Vaulter
Use an alternate account to circumvent another user’s block.
Data Source: Freevox: Connect with Anyone, Anywhere!
Achievement Unlocked: I’ve Heard No Complaints
Have over 100 complaints filed against you on Freevox.
Data Source: Freevox: Connect with Anyone, Anywhere!
Achievement Unlocked: Time Killer
Spend over two hours on social media on a weekday.
Data Source: Freevox: Connect with Anyone, Anywhere!
Achievement Unlocked: No Job, No Problem
Fail to log in to your MustWork account seven days in a row.
Data Source: MustWork: Find the Job You Need
Achievement Unlocked: 19th-Century Bather
Go seventy-two hours without showering.
Data Source: SmartLife SmartFaucet Shower Cam
Achievement Unlocked: Fire Breath
Go seventy-two hours without brushing your teeth.
Data Source: SmartLife SmartBrush Oralsense
Achievement Unlocked: I Swear it’s Me!
Take over three attempts to start your car with YU-FaceID.
Data Source: Travolt Budgeteer 1HGCM82633A004352 Dashboard SelfieCam
Achievement Unlocked: Don't Call it a Rut
Drive the same route seven days in a row.
Data Source: Travolt Budgeteer 1HGCM82633A004352 GPS
Achievement Unlocked: Drive Through Bandit
Enter a drive through at over thirty-five miles per hour.
Data Source: Travolt Budgeteer 1HGCM82633A004352 speedometer
Achievement Unlocked: Addicted to Flavor!
Order the new Tacoloco Gizilla Splooshwrap Combo Plate and unleash the cheesy beast!
Data Source: Tacoloco Customer ID
Achievement Unlocked: Scrounger
Search in the cushions, under the seats, and the center console of your vehicle for change.
Data Source: Travolt Budgeteer 1HGCM82633A004352 SeatCam
Achievement Unlocked: Printed and Minted
Pay with obsolete hard currency.
Data Source: Tacoloco Customer Transaction Records
Achievement Unlocked: Moment of Flavorful Solace
Eat in the parking lot.
Data Source: Travolt Budgeteer 1HGCM82633A004352 SelfieCam
Achievement Unlocked: Home Again, Home Again
Return home after less than an hour outside.
Data Source: Travolt Budgeteer 1HGCM82633A004352 GPS
Achievement Unlocked: Senpai
Visit xxx.waifu.vr seven days in a row.
Data Source: Bluecon ISP
Achievement Unlocked: Solo Afternoon Delight
Attempt self pleasure before five p.m.
Data Source: YU-Track blood flow monitor
Achievement Unlocked: Half Mast
Fail to “get it up.”
Data Source: YU-Track blood flow monitor
Achievement Unlocked: Onesome
Ingest a PDE5 inhibitor with no partner present.
Data Source: SmartFlat PersonasenseTM Apartment Occupancy Monitor
Achievement Unlocked: Why, Mama, Why?
Ignore three calls from your mother in one day.
Data Source: YU-Tel call monitor
Achievement Unlocked: Slider
Send over seven unsolicited direct messages in less than an hour.
Data Source: Freevox: Connect with Anyone, Anywhere!
Achievement Unlocked: Autorhetorical
Make a Freevox post with over 1,000 words and receive zero Likes, Hearts, Stars, Upvotes, Whoas, or Rainbows.
Data Source: Freevox: Connect with Anyone, Anywhere!
Achievement Unlocked: Digital Denizen
Spend over seven hours online in any ten-hour period.
Data Source: Bluecon ISP
Achievement Unlocked: Free Speech Absolutist
Receive a temporary ban from Freevox.
Data Source: Freevox: Connect with Anyone, Anywhere!
Achievement Unlocked: It's My Stuff and I Can Do What I Want With It
Damage or destroy at least three personal appliances.
Data Source: IlPane Smart Toaster Cam
Achievement Unlocked: Can You Hear Me, God?
Scream for at least ninety seconds.
Data Source: SmartFlat PersonasenseTM Apartment Microphone
Achievement Unlocked: I Can’t Take It Anymore!
Say the exact phrase: I Can’t Take It Anymore!
Data Source: SmartFlat PersonasenseTM Apartment Microphone
Achievement Unlocked: Get Them Out of Me!
Attempt to remove YU-Track intraocular holography implants by hand.
Data Source: YU-Track intraocular holography implants
Achievement Unlocked: Zzzzzzap!
Receive YU-Track intraocular holography implant electric shock deterrent.
Data Source: YU-Track intraocular holography implants
Achievement Unlocked: I'm Not Crying, You're Crying
Break into tears.
Data Source: YU-Track intraocular holography implants
Achievement Unlocked: Don't Let the Door Hit You on the Way Out
Slam your PortSafe Smart Door.
Data Source: PortSafe Smart Door latch sensor
Achievement Unlocked: Rut Breaker
Set a new destination for the first time in seven days.
Data Source: Travolt Budgeteer 1HGCM82633A004352 GPS
Achievement Unlocked: Road Tripper
Set a destination over 300 miles away from your domicile.
Data Source: Travolt Budgeteer 1HGCM82633A004352 GPS
Achievement Unlocked: Pedal to the Metal
Exceed speed limit by double.
Data Source: Travolt Budgeteer 1HGCM82633A004352 Speedometer
Achievement Unlocked: Where We're Going, We Don't Need Roads
Exceed speed limit by triple.
Data Source: Travolt Budgeteer 1HGCM82633A004352 Speedometer
Achievement Unlocked: It's the 5-0!
Have a police officer attempt to pull you over for speeding.
Data Source: Patrol Car P256 Scanner
Achievement Unlocked: Catch Me If You Can!
Ignore instructions to pull over from a police officer.
Data Source: Patrol Car P256 Scanner
Achievement Unlocked: Can You Hear the Sirens Calling?
Have three or more patrol cars in hot pursuit.
Data Source: Patrol Car P256 Scanner
Achievement Unlocked: Straight Shot!
Run three red lights in a row.
Data Source: Traffic Enforcement Camera TL-56278 - TL-56281
Achievement Unlocked: Jesus, Take the Wheel!
Lose control of your vehicle while going over 100 miles per hour.
Data Source: Travolt Budgeteer 1HGCM82633A004352 Speedometer
Achievement Unlocked: Impromptu Physics Lesson
Collide with an immovable object at over 100 miles per hour.
Data Source: Travolt Budgeteer 1HGCM82633A004352 Impact Sensor
Achievement Unlocked: Ow, That’s Got to Hurt!
Suffer severe full-body injuries.
Data Source: YU-Track trauma sensor
Achievement Unlocked: Don’t Go Into the Light
Lose consciousness after injury.
Data Source: YU-Track electroencephalogram
Achievement Unlocked: Uh, Shouldn’t This Be Inside Me?
Lose over a liter of blood.
Data Source: YU-Track blood flow monitor
Achievement Unlocked: Norse Funeral
Have your electric vehicle catch fire while you're still inside.
Data Source: Travolt Budgeteer 1HGCM82633A004352 Intelligent Battery Sensor