Foreword by Lucas Ortega

Who’s Lucas Ortega, you ask?

Oh, absolutely nobody important. Just a body painter and former bartender. As well as the Lucas you’ll hear a lot about in later chapters. (If you ever meet me in person, please pretend you don’t know these things about me.)

It’s a strange thing, to have some of your own darkest memories retold to you from the perspective of your best friend, who was right there with you the whole way. And to know that your own parents might read it, your old high school teacher, and who knows who else. I’m absolutely mortified that this is now public.

I don’t regret it, though. There is nothing in this book that I would ask him to cut. Because it needs to be said. These stories need to be told. And boys need to tell our stories, too. Read it. Let it ruin you a little. And if you’ve ever experienced anything like what Sam and I have, let it hold your hand. Having someone to hold mine is what let me survive.

When he asked me to write the forward, I thought he was joking. I’m still not sure I’m the one to write this — he’s the author, not me! But I said yes anyway. Because it’s Sam.

This book is a lot. I had to take breaks while reading to take a walk around the block. Sam is a helium balloon carrying a heavy life. Some of it, I was there for. Some of it, I lived through with him. Some of it, I only learnt much later. And some of it, he’d never told me. I learnt about it same as you, through reading this book. And it makes my stomach drop.

There’s stuff in here I never thought he’d say out loud. Stuff about me, stuff about her, stuff about himself I’m not sure he’s even finished processing. But he put it all in here anyway. And I can attest that, to the best of my knowledge, everything he describes is 100% true. So be kind, because this is the most vulnerably a human can share themselves with the entire world. Sometimes that is what healing looks like. No triumphant instagram post, no phoenix-from-the-ashes speech. Just a guy, sitting down, telling the truth as best he can.

I couldn’t be prouder of Sam. I’m proud of the version of him who survived everything he’s lived through, even prouder of the one who sat down and wrote about it all, but most of all, I’m proud of the man who chose healing and put both of us through it.

I’m proud of you, Sam, and honoured to be your best friend. Even when it was bad — especially when it was bad — you never stopped trying to find good.

I love you.

— Lucas

REAL INTRODUCTION BY REAL AUTHOR

to explain what's going on

Hello all! Welcome to A Normal Amount of Damage — A Memoir by Sam Keller.

This is a novel that actually comes after an original trilogy, written from the perspective of Sam's abuser. The memoir is written from his perspective as a 30 year old in 2038. I was inspired by the need to allow him to speak his own piece, after being the victim of the events of the three original books. It allowed me to dive deeper into his past — which had been passing mention background context until now — and explore, from his perspective, the impact of the events of the original trilogy and the motivations of his actions. It was a really fun character exploration, to reverse engineer a protagonist from what had originally been a side character. I would introduce the plot of the original trilogy — which range from when he was 16 to 25 — but I don’t want to spoil this book. So you get to enjoy this memoir of his as your first introduction into his life. If it goes well, I might upload the original trilogy. Though I’m hesitant, because of the contents of those books. We’ll see.

Some warnings: this book explores themes of incest, child sexual abuse, and grooming.