1,440

3:30am:

"Everything is my fault"

"Don't ever let them see your face"

"You can't compete because what is the sense"

"I am not going to publish any of my work"

" he hates me. I never existed to him."

"Maya Angelou had it right"

"are you done with all of this bullshit running in your head?"

"no, I am not cause this bullshit is a broken narrative"

"gods I am so stupid for ever believing I could ever contribute"

"I really hate what society is"

"are all men like this? Fuck, it really is my fault"

"you are the reason why you fail at relationships"

"why do I do this too myself?"

"all I ever wanted was just live, and not survive"

"I want to be more than to just exist"

"Do I even matter? Would it mean something, anything, if anyone would say to me I mattered? would I believe them?"

"gods I feel sorry for anyone who meets me"

"I need to pee"

Buddha says we are given this day, and we get to choose what we do with this day we are given.

Each moment matters.

I choose to be silent